Dr. Jaynee Cadrez
When people learn what I do for a living - that I specialize in counseling women with eating disorders - I am often asked about issues women face. These include addiction and chemical dependency, or the rise in eating disorders among young women in our culture. However, what is the most difficult for others to grasp is why smart, successful, professional women would seemingly "choose" to force themselves to purge or slowly and systematically starve - in some cases to death. But when asked, I wonder silently why these behaviors shock us under the present circumstances of our culture.
The easiest answer as to why women do this would be that those I treat often feel forced to conform at any cost. Most often, there is a complete non-acceptance of the individuality of self. These patients change and alter themselves in order to gain acceptance within a world where they feel pressure to perform, compete and strive for perfection. As such, the goal of treatment becomes to help them develop a good sense of inner-self rather than simply focusing on their external worth. My job, in its simplest form, is essentially to offer hope that recovery is possible and that they can find freedom and joy within a healthy mind, body and spirit. This is can be much more difficult then it sounds, so individualized treatment in a loving environment becomes an absolute necessity. The Lodge in Sundance, Utah is the place where this paradigm shift begins.
I wrote a paper long ago for a college course which I entitled, "The Social Oppression of Women". In it, I stated "We've come miles but are stopped by inches and pounds." There are more women CEOs today than ever before, and the numbers of females in Congress has tripled, but when 13,000 females were surveyed recently, 75% of them said they feel fat and are unhappy with their lives when they are unhappy with their bodies. Rarely do women look at the system or the social dynamics and ask themselves what is wrong with these unattainable images projected upon women as a whole. More often they ask, "What is wrong with me? Why can't I live up to the standards? Why am I not good enough? Will I ever be enough?"
Just as women become leaders in the workforce, obtain political power and strive for gender equality, they find themselves obsessed with how to become less. Lower weight translates somehow to a better, happier and more successful life. This brings me back to answering the question of why women, even when knowing the risk and being educated about the dangers to their health, continue to become addicted to losing weight by any means necessary. Cocaine, methamphetamines, laxatives or diuretics all become acceptable means to an end. After an eventual change in their brain chemistry, they become controlled by the physical needs for these substances. Very seldom do we honor the innate differences in women's bodies in our society. Building self-esteem, worth and empowering women to love themselves becomes a priority for inpatient treatment The body must heal and no longer be used as a weapon turned against itself.
We are all victimized by our culture's narrow definition of beauty. As a society, we must come to terms with our individual responsibility for creating an environment in which women would engage in self-destruction because they cannot see their value beyond the reflection in a mirror. There is a need for re-education. At Cirque Lodge, we offer daily lectures and all-female process groups that address these issues. Here we practice intuitive eating in a supportive environment along with the 12-steps used in Eating Disorders Anonymous. Women not only begin to care for their bodies but begin the process of allowing their bodies to heal.
Here we are no longer saturated with the 4000 media messages each day that tell us we are not attractive, and how to become more attractive. We have a break from the continuous notion that we not only should want to look like those we see in the media, but we should even strive to become the characters we see. During group sessions, women have the opportunity to express these frustrations in a constructive fashion and learn new coping skills. Women support women dealing with the reality that there are no drugs, diets or foods that will shield any of them from a painful divorce, a heartbreaking miscarriage or the devastation of a friend's death.
Obviously we must concede that it would be far too simplistic to blame eating disorders solely on the media, our culture, family dynamics or genetics. It's too easy to say that rap music causes violence or sex scenes in movies leads to early sexual development in teenagers. We all have a part in social construction. Given that, we must all contribute to the recovery from these deadly diseases. The shame and stigmas attached to addiction must come to an end so that more women can seek the professional help they need to recover.
Ultimately, the answer to why women engage in self-destructive behavior can also be addressed if we operate under the assumption that physical attractiveness equals confidence - which often equals power. If this is an unfortunate truth, why wouldn't women do ANYTHING for the sake of being attractive? In our society, a women may be intelligent, artistic or financially successful but it is still taboo for her to be overweight. There remains a tremendous pressure to be thin, stylish, and sexy, no matter what else the person may have accomplished personally or professionally.
At Cirque Lodge, we discuss these issues and acquire the ability to sort fantasy from reality. The families and loved ones of those seeking treatment are also counseled on these topics. Studies show that dieting mothers influence their daughters eating habits more so than any other factor. Parental influence takes precedence over Barbie and the media. It is important for parents to realize that in order for their daughter to experience internal worth, they themselves must feel good about their own self-worth; they need to learn to become effective problem solvers, good communicators, and compassionate sober people. Role models should be healthy mentally, physically and spiritually.
Here we offer assurance and unconditional acceptance because it fosters a sense of belonging (which we all want), worth (required to believe) and security (that we all need). I once read that a true expert must reveal an appreciation for an issue's complexity and a sense of humility about their own knowledge. I have been enticed (and humbled) by the complexity of eating disorders and chemical addictions. The best way I can describe what I do is that I take in a thousand pieces of information and weave it into a treatment plan which helps women understand not only why they have an eating disorder (and are chemically dependant upon it), but why they no longer need to be so in order to feel love, acceptance and joy.
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